I was insecure 

I was insecure 

My dear followers!!!

Last week I was in a bit of a sad situation. I made a video and I’ve put it online on my YouTube channel: Maanitalk (click here to watch the video that I am talking about.)

I was so excited about it, and I was frankly happy with what I have spoken about. I was proud of myself because after so many times of recording, I thought to myself I will record one more time and this time I will get it right!! There is no way I will stop now… And I DID, it was much better than the other recorded videos.

I posted my video online, on Facebook, on my Instagram and on my YouTube channel. I was so happy to get it out there. However, I did not get enough views, and it did not reach enough people. It made me really sad and it gave me the feeling of giving up what I was doing. The fear of failure and looking stupid and ridiculous came into my mind. It slipped in there and I felt so insecure!!!

I felt embarrassed in front of my fiance, my family and everyone who knows how badly I want this to work. I have let this insecurity take the good out of me, I was in it for a few hours. Even at the dinner table, I felt like crying. Then I thought to myself, NO, NO, NOOOOO!!! I will not stop doing this, I am not going to stop blogging, vlogging or not be active on social media just because I did not get what I want.

The reason why I am doing this is because I love to do it, and whether enough people want to watch and follow or not that is non of my concern. Despite of whatever views and number there are on your social media. IT IS the satisfaction I get out of it when I finish writing a blog or when I am done with recording a video. The happiness I get out of this when I read a book and gain so much knowledge or when I am improving my thoughts, habits and behavior on a daily basis! That is what counts and nothing else.

Moral of my story is, do not give up because you are not there where you want to be yet. It takes some time, consistency and determination to keep on going before you reach the top. It is not always nice to see that you are not reaching enough people, but when you keep on going, you will get there!

I will be vlogging and blogging for a very very veryyyyy long time. There is more than enough in me to get me going for another lifetime.

Keep believing in yourself!

Believe in yourself. Inspirational quote on colorful spray paint

One thought on “I was insecure 

  1. Thank You for this.
    I’m at the point where if it was not for my 3 kids I’d be a hermit. I ask for prayers that my 2 oldest are ok. Not even the government or child safety has responded and I don’t have anything else but T.I.M.E. To ensure thoughts and prayers for the lost and the then found.

    Again thank you


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