So many people want to have a relationship yet they don’t even know how to maintain one.
In my opinion, one should know how to be alone without feeling lonely before they can get into any relationship. But this is the problem, some people can’t distinguish aloneness and loneliness. The word aloneness does not exist, I know, but I will name it like that. There is a difference between these two words that should be understood. Aloneness if being full, loneliness is being empty.
People want to get into a relationship because they feel lonely, so in order to get rid of this feeling they try to find someone to share their loneliness with. And even if they get into a relationship, they still feel lonely because they are not being understood by the other person, they argue a lot, they feel tension, they are scared of showing the real person that lives inside of them in silence and let the fake person be all load and dominating the relationship.
Well, if you can’t be alone then you can’t be in a relationship. All of this happens because the person does not know how to be alone, and what it actually means and can do to you.
Being alone is discovering who you truly are, and what a great person you are. You cannot fake yourself for yourself. You become fully aware of what you want and love to do. You have to enjoy your own company before someone else does. It is that simple. If you feel lonely and you want to have someone, then you don’t like to be with yourself, alone. And why is that? If you feel miserable why are you trying to fix it outside yourself with someone else. If you do notice that this feeling arises that you are lonely go and discover WHY you don’t like being alone with yourself and WHY you need someone.
I truly believe that if you are fully satisfied with yourself and you know who are and what you like to do and how you want to be, then you will attracted the right person to be with. I also believe that if one find himself, they will understand what eternity is and what it feels like to have many possibilities and opportunities in this world.
You will then enter a relationship with no stress, knowing who you are and having a firm base. Nobody wants a weak person, it’s like poison. You poison the relationship with insecurities, hate, jealousy and anger.
Transform the loneliness feeling into aloneness, and once you have done that you will be open for a relationship. Without aloneness you will be more lonely and far away from yourself.
You are a beautiful being, so enjoy the time you spend with yourself and allow yourself to truly understand who you are.
*Inspired from the book Being in love by Osho